the dumbing down of love

The Girl

Aly. 21. Las Vegas, Nevada. Dreamer, schemer, and make believer. I'm everything you know and everything you can't understand. I'm full of contradictions and misconceptions. I love without holding back and can change your life if you let me. Never underestimate me because that will be your biggest mistake. Myspace Flickr

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Thursday, September 29, 2005

I will never think of last night as a mistake. I might wonder if it made things worse but never a mistake. You didn’t hesitate this time. Not even to kiss me. No hesitation to tell me lovely things or to touch me in beautiful ways. I was yours and you were mine. Even if only for an instant, a small block of time, you said we again. For what it seems like forever it has been you and I, me, you, but rarely more. It tugged at my heart to hear us and we. You were different when I saw you in the light after. Maybe it was your smile or the light in your eyes. Maybe it was the antihistamines. Maybe it was me. Most likely it was me. The light turned off so quickly. I questioned me staying and the tiny lights in those eyes flicked off. What would have happened? What if I had just smiled and let you kiss me more and said yes tea would be great? It wouldn’t have made you love me or think of me at night the way I do of you. What does she have? Before and after me, why is she so much better? Why does she deserve your love? It makes me feel sick to wonder these things. My stomach churns and my heart back beats to know that I question myself because of you. Beauty, I don’t question that. I’ve seen pictures and feel confident I’m the best you’ve had. I can still make you want me. Did you ever want my heart? I made a wish for you everyday, sometimes twice. 11:11. I want him to call. I want him to love me. I want him next to me. I don’t want him to break my heart. You you you you you you. 11:12. I remember our first date. I remember you reaching across the table for my hand and giving it to you willingly. I remember the butterflies, hand dancing, you trying to kiss me, Kerby Lane, and the blisters I got from us walking in circles for hours. Every time we would reach the same point I would ask if you wanted to keep going. You kept saying yes and holding my hand. Then you kissed me on Halloween. That’s when we peaked. That’s when I knew. It was all in that kiss. Our story. You wrote that you miss me, followed by things of my replacement. That sums things up so nicely, in a neat little package with a sad little bow. I miss you. I love you. And I don’t want to be with you. Stay the night. I hate hurting you. There’s some one else. I gave you all of me and some things I can’t take back. You gave me jewelry and some cash for therapy to fix what you helped to break. Now it’s my turn. I miss you. I love you. And there’s some one else.

Alysa [ 5:10 PM ]

1 Comments:

You need to run, not walk, to the nearest bookstore and get a copy of He's Just Not That Into You. And take notes. He's not worth the time and energy.

By Anonymous, at 8:40 AM