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The Girl

Aly. 21. Las Vegas, Nevada. Dreamer, schemer, and make believer. I'm everything you know and everything you can't understand. I'm full of contradictions and misconceptions. I love without holding back and can change your life if you let me. Never underestimate me because that will be your biggest mistake. Myspace Flickr

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Sunday, August 13, 2006
Changing


Click to watch or click here to download

I decided to make a video, first try. I had a lot happen yesterday and I needed an outlet. Leave me opinions, thoughts, issues, or whatever you like.


Alysa [ 6:11 PM ] | 3 comments

Sunday, August 06, 2006
Have you ever had something happen that with every heartbeat it's like the memory pulses through your brain?
Heartbeat. Memory flash. Heartbeat. Memory flash.
It's like you can feel the memory pulse through you with every beat, no escape.

Today was a mix of this and a horrible day. First, the front passenger window of my car broke. Then after that, on my way to Target, traffic backed up and there was a bunch of cars stopped in the middle of an intersection at a red light. Next a fireman started yelling at everyone to pull into the parking lot of an Olive Garden. Apparently a bus caught on fire, probably due to the heat. I spent the next 30 mins with no a/c in crazy traffic. On the way home another accident happened right in front of me, literally. It was 3 cars and I had to slam on my breaks to not become the 4th. My mother yelled at me for being in a bad mood and then I got sick.
On top of the basic bad day things, my heart and my mind are conflicted. Heartbeat. Flash. Heartbeat. Flash. I can't stop it and I hate to run away from people. I don't have it in me to walk away from someone who just let me in again after a year, or from someone who needs me daily, or just from someone who is always in my thoughts.
I need to sort this out. I need perspective.


Alysa [ 12:53 AM ] | 2 comments

Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Observation
My situation
Ain't looking up
I'm having stupid suicidal thoughts
Complication
My hesitation
To cut you off
Has put me at a total lose

I'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
I'm all messed up
Baby all cause of you
I can't sleep
I'm in too deep
I'm a girl on the verge of a major meltdown
I might be all freaked out and confused
But I still wouldn't wanna be you
I'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Devastation
My reputation
Is headed south
My medications running out

Congratulations
I'm your creation
Well how bout that
You better lock your doors cause the bitch is back

I'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
I'm all messed up
Baby all cause of you
I can't sleep I went to deep
I'm a girl on the verge of a major meltdown
I might be all freaked out and confused
But I still wouldn't wanna be you
I'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown


Alysa [ 4:40 PM ] | 1 comments

Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Omissions are betrayal.


One of my fave movies says "Omissions are betrayal.", the main character goes through a crazy journey where she comes to finally believe this. When I watch this movie, my heart drops and I can't breathe. There is something in there that I relate to about jumping into the rabbit hole, going through the lopsided world, and coming out the other side changed.

Thoughts, please?


Alysa [ 1:38 AM ] | 0 comments