the dumbing down of love

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Aly. 21. Las Vegas, Nevada. Dreamer, schemer, and make believer. I'm everything you know and everything you can't understand. I'm full of contradictions and misconceptions. I love without holding back and can change your life if you let me. Never underestimate me because that will be your biggest mistake. Myspace Flickr

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Monday, December 26, 2005

I've written about this before. I know I have but if you don't want to read it I'm not making you.
My fave Gilmore Girl episode..I now have it on DVD. For the past several or more months this one episode has mirrored my life. I could watch it on repeat and just cry in bed. Which I'm doing today..not the repeat part but the in bed crying. There are certain things I don't write about in here because certain people read this. I also have this weird feeling my mom found this..side note..um anyway back to my point. I've been in a funk..I didn't wash my hair or shave my legs for days. I only did so because I had church and didn't want to go to Christmas Eve service all smelly and hairy. I've had terrible lock jaw from stress..so I haven't been eating a whole lot. I've layered many blankets on my bed and kept my room extra cold so it's all snuggly. I've been avoiding people by phone and instant messenger, the only way people have contacted is email or persistent text messages. I wish I was in Chicago right now..or Mountain Home. Just somewhere that I know the people love me unconditionally and will let me wallow and help the process along. This is the first time in a very long time I do not mind being isolated and alone. I want to just hide and work through everything in my mind and heart by my little lonesome.

Just for reference..I do not want any comments saying 'read this book it will help you get over him' or 'there is always a silver lining so buck up camper'. I don't mind positive things but be supportive while the positive is happening.

I'm not sure any of this made sense to anyone but me. I just needed to get it out of my head ...tears are blurring the computer screen now so I must go.

Alysa [ 3:21 PM ]

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