the dumbing down of love

The Girl

Aly. 21. Las Vegas, Nevada. Dreamer, schemer, and make believer. I'm everything you know and everything you can't understand. I'm full of contradictions and misconceptions. I love without holding back and can change your life if you let me. Never underestimate me because that will be your biggest mistake. Myspace Flickr

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

Today I had to call my new insurance company to get a refferal to a therapist. It's like policy for them to ask if you are in immediate danger. I had two options, lie and have them not take me seriously or tell the truth and put up with the "do I need to call an ambulance" speach. I chose the latter. I spent the next hour on the phone being treated like a 5 year old. There is something about mental health that makes people treat you like a child. It has left me exhausted and numb.

People in my life scare me lately. No one can deal with me. If I tell them whats wrong they flip and get angry with me. If I don't tell them, they flip and get angry at me. I'm tired of this, all of this, and the scariest part is I'm not sure I have the energy to fix it.

I'm going to cry, drug myself, and watch Sex and the City.

Alysa [ 9:02 PM ]

7 Comments:

Being open and honest is the best way to be.

I hope your weekend is well, my friend.

By Anonymous, at 5:54 PM
Sorry, this is a bit out of sync with this day's post but; Arthur is an Aardvark... long story as to how I know that tho ;)

By Anonymous, at 6:17 PM
you did the right thing. Shame they didn't know how to handle this.
Sex and the city is my medicine too.
xxxx

By Anonymous, at 12:00 AM
From experience, no one who has been mentally ill could possibly understand what you are going through. Nor should you try and make them, it won't ever work.
My wife is bi-polar and has had a nervous breakdown. During this time not one person could help with what they thought was "right."
Her mother who is a nurse and incredibly bright couldn't make sense of it all.
My point, I don't know but it seems like you did the right thing.
Keep well!

By Anonymous, at 9:33 AM
I do think that you did the right thing by telling them the truth about how you are feeling. Now the fact that they treated you like a 5 year old might have been exhausting..and numbing.. but atleast you are able to get some help.

Im sorry that it seems as if no one is understanding or there for you. Im always here to listen, even if I dont have much advice to give.
-emily

By Anonymous, at 7:05 PM
haven't heard from you sweetest, in a while. everything okay?
xxxx
hugs

By Anonymous, at 1:06 AM
Hello. Pardon me for posting out of the blue, but I came upon your blog via Chloe's not too long ago, and I was just hoping everything is going okay for you... I know how it can be when things feel rough, and my best wishes are with you.

By Anonymous, at 5:57 PM