the dumbing down of love

The Girl

Aly. 21. Las Vegas, Nevada. Dreamer, schemer, and make believer. I'm everything you know and everything you can't understand. I'm full of contradictions and misconceptions. I love without holding back and can change your life if you let me. Never underestimate me because that will be your biggest mistake. Myspace Flickr

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The Archives

February 2005
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Current Posts

Monday, February 28, 2005

I SMOTE THE STARBUCKS!!!

Alysa [ 3:38 PM ] | 0 comments

bzzz

ahahahahahaha.....yea it speaks for itself :)

Alysa [ 3:30 PM ] | 0 comments

.....I had powdered donuts ^-^

Alysa [ 3:02 PM ] | 0 comments

free food!

hah...ew.

Alysa [ 2:50 PM ] | 0 comments

Friday, February 25, 2005

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,
you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care were not going newhere

Alysa [ 12:13 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Quoth the waxwings: 'Nevermore'

Alysa [ 1:26 PM ] | 0 comments

Now, I've had it up to here
Don't ever try that again
Why are you so quiet so suddenly?
Go on, I bet
You're just dying to try me

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

Make no sudden movements
And no one will get hurt
You're making me nervous
If you know what's good for me
Why would I be leaving you?

So, what do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?

I was brave today and asked Elizabeth if she wanted to have dinner or go to the mall or something. I think we both need more girlfriends. She's a sweetheart.
I want chinese food...and a hot fudge brownie sundae.

Alysa [ 1:14 PM ] | 1 comments

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I'm taking a small break from work. I have oodles to do today. I have these two stacks of papers, two different phone lists. One is organized by first name, one by last. I have to go through one list and make sure the names on the other are the same. My eyes are going crossed and when I look up from it I get dizzy.
My bestest buddy is 4 weeks from her due date. She has those Braxton Hicks contractions though, so she has been having contractions for the past two months. I feel bad about that. I'm trying really hard to figure out a way to get up there either for the birth or after. She wants me there and I really want to be there but money is beyond tight and it's just sucky.
I've decided I need more girlfriends. Local ones that is. So if you're interested in having girl nights and fun shopping days, please apply :)
I need something good in my life.

I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
'Cause if you don't then just leave

Alysa [ 1:48 PM ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Astrology Central - Numerology

Alysa [ 5:12 PM ] | 0 comments

you see yourself being so small
running into every brick wall
it's not as far as you can go
the road is twisting/turning
a life is limping/learning
there's so much more for you to know

if you could lock the past away
step back through the doorway
this ride has just begun
if i could change your point of view
is there some way i can show you
the best is yet to come

not every problem can be
solved so easily
not every answer is the one
above the flood of emotion
it's all about forward motion
define your place in the sun

if you could lock the past away
step back through the doorway
this ride has just begun
if i could change your point of view
is there some way i can show you
the best is yet to come

don't try to hide
it's all inside
you can find a place where the pain & guilt can fall away
if you're spitting truth/bullet proof
crashing through the walls that separate me and you
now you'll find with everything you lose
your path clears with everything you choose

if you could lock the past away
step back through the doorway
this ride has just begun
change your point of view
is there some way i can show you
the best is yet to come

if you could lock the past away
step back through the doorway
this ride has just begun
if i could change your point of view
is there some way i can show you
the best is yet to come

this ride has just begun
is there some way i can show you?
the best is yet to come

Alysa [ 2:56 PM ] | 1 comments

Monday, February 21, 2005

Food poisoning.
No money.
No loan.
Fuck.

Alysa [ 11:59 AM ] | 0 comments

Saturday, February 19, 2005

that's my nephew jack..he's in a box.

Alysa [ 6:05 PM ] | 0 comments

Friday, February 18, 2005

horoscope: Just when you were looking for solid ground, the ground shifted under your feet.

duh.

Alysa [ 4:56 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Pet Peeve

that's so me! hah

Alysa [ 4:36 PM ] | 0 comments

Today has been weird. It's either really busy or so slow that I could cry from boredom. I've made 3 pots of coffee for meetings, handed out a billion coupons from chik-fil-a [they want our business], sorted mail, helped exectutives with their many troubles, found Brendan food, and now I'm just kind of here. It will get busy again, with all the meetings going on today and paychecks getting here. I like it when I am busy, so much to the point where I can't stop and think. It makes my day go fast and my thoughts stay away.
I want fun tonight.

Alysa [ 1:41 PM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I want

Kim might make me some guitar pick earrings! I love having a friend that makes jewelry. I have this song by LeAnn Rimes stuck in my head. It was on T.V this morning and now it's embedded in my brain.

Like a cloud full of rain shouldn't hang in the sky
Ice shouldn't burn or a bumblebee fly
If you feel so happy, then why do you cry?
Oh nothin' bout love makes sense.

Like an ocean liner shouldn't float on the sea
A pearl in an oyster or a circus of fleas
Someone so perfect can't be falling for me.
Oh nothin' bout love makes sense.

Nothin' bout love is less than confusing
You can win when you're losing, stand when you're falling
I can't figure it out.
Nothin' bout love can make an equation nothin' short of amazing
Wish I could explain it
But I don't know how.

The way that we dance, the reason we dream
That big Italian tower, well how does it lean?
Something so strong shouldn't make me this weak
Oh nothin' bout love makes sense.

(Instrumental)

Nothin' bout love is less than confusing
You can win when you're losing, stand when you're falling
I can't figure it out.
Nothin' bout love can make an equation nothin' short of amazing
Wish I could explain it
But I don't know how.

Like the lights of Las Vegas going out on the sand
A jumbo shrimp or a baby grand
How you're touching my heart when you're holding my hand
Oh nothin' bout love makes sense
Oh nothin' bout love makes sense
Oh nothin' bout love, makes sense
No no no, oh it don't make sense.

I'm getting my tongue pierced Friday :) so all weekend it will be nothing but ice, ice cream, and listerine for me. Wish me luck.

Alysa [ 1:21 PM ] | 0 comments

Monday, February 14, 2005

My emotions have been all over the place lately. I have been trying so hard to hold it together but tonight that one final thing just made me lose it. I cant stop crying. The worst part is no one seems to notice I'm not okay or even give a fuck when I say I'm not okay.
I have this feeling that something is wrong, a deep in my gut pure intuition type feeling. Like someone is screwing me over or something tragic is going to happen.
I hate this.

Alysa [ 9:18 PM ] | 2 comments

The tamest and most predictable choices won in just about every category.

hehehe

Alysa [ 1:21 PM ] | 1 comments

This has been my first Valentine's since maybe junior high that is going pleasantly. Being at work is kind of mind numbing though. I would much rather be somewhere laying in the grass, talking or dozing off, and with a lovely picnic. Instead I am stuck in a cubicle and I can't see outside at all. Oh well..Tonight will make up for it. I hope.
I'm very drowsy today, I don't know if it's the allergy medicine or the fact that I slept most of last week or if I'm still a bit sick. Something is off though. It's kind of good that I will be doing receptionist duty most of the afternoon. If my mom hurries up with my lunch then I will at least have some energy for a while.
Back to work now :)

Alysa [ 12:57 PM ] | 0 comments

Friday, February 11, 2005

after the storm there is always a brighter day and i will find my rainbow.

Alysa [ 1:41 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Do you know what you make me feel, baby? If you can't see it in my eyes or feel it in my touch then I don't know how else to show you. I'm head over heels, too far gone, in too deep to walk away. How did you get to me like this? How did you invade my space when I worked so hard to protect myself? How can you make me so incredibly happy and break my heart all at once? Why don't you feel the same... I don't think you ever will and that hurts more than my heart. All I want to do at this point is scream. Scream so loud I lose my voice. Scream, cry, tear things off my walls, and eventually break down in a tiny ball on my bed. You say I keep things from you, well this is some of what I've been keeping to myself. You may be asking why, and it's all because I never want to hurt you. I want to keep you free from pain of any kind, to heal you when it is inflicted by others or yourself. These thoughts may hurt you but they hurt me as well and I needed to get them out. Forgive me.

Alysa [ 3:33 PM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

im so sick. i think someone actually ran over me with a mack truck. the most food i've had in two days was some chinese food yesterday. im having oreos and milk now because it doesnt make me want to throw up.

have you ever noticed that when you have a fever you have weird dreams? i think it fries your brain so you have these delusional dreams.

okay im going to go die from the plague now. or just simply take some nyquil and watch movies. if you care for me leave me happy notes and long emails to entertain me.

Alysa [ 10:16 AM ] | 2 comments

Monday, February 07, 2005

"You are going to be turning heads today. You have a kind of radiance that people can see from blocks away. And you're intelligent. And sweet. And heroically patient. In short, you're unstoppable."

Alysa [ 2:57 PM ] | 2 comments

Erectile Dysfunction

Orneryboy is great. I'm having a lost day. I feel like I'm in a sort of fog or something, just kind of here, not really grasping reality today I guess. Most likely that is because reality is painfull right now. Me and another girl I work with are all emotional and upset. It's kind of like a form of warped bonding when you both connect over something not so great going on in your lives.
I have a triple cafe mocha and it's barely effecting me, should I worry?
word of advice: high heels and sore thighs are not the best of combinations.

I think there might be something wrong with me. Not in a hypochondriac I'm going to die sort of way, more like I get told I'm this amazing, beautiful girl yet...
I'm going to stop there because I can either be brutally honest with how I'm feeling and the thoughts in my head and possibly upset some people or just keep them to myself.

I'm going back to my coffee and music now.

Alysa [ 12:31 PM ] | 2 comments

Friday, February 04, 2005

today is good.
i really want ben n jerry's.

and you really should've stayed.

Alysa [ 1:16 PM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Bubble baths.
missing you.
candles.
LaLa.
scheming.
get tangled up in me.
if you want my autobiography baby just ask me.
hug me, hold me, have me, love me, tell me.

Alysa [ 8:01 PM ] | 0 comments

kurt halsey

i love the small post it.

Alysa [ 3:39 PM ] | 0 comments

I need a shopping buddy. No one truly enjoys shopping with me because everyone I know isn't into fashion really.
Have you ever been completely out of control with what is happening in your life but content with it? Everything is fast moving all of the sudden and I feel small and lost but I kind of like how things are not planned out for me this time. No one has set a course for me, and it's exciting.

I miss dreaming.

Alysa [ 2:36 PM ] | 0 comments